No Matter What
by Devil of My Family
Summary: Dean would stop anything that would even think about hurting his baby brother. So how is he gonna stop Sam from hurting himself when his nightmares are finally taking their toll on him?
1. Chapter 1

**Supernatural**

**No Matter What**

**AN: **My new attempt of an awesome story. Kidding. I hope you guys like it, I try to have as few spelling mistakes as I can, but please, bare with me if I have them. Review, make my day shiny and let me know if you have something in mind that I could work on. :D Okay, so to the story

**Disclaimer: **Nope, not mine

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**Chapter one**

Dean sighed. He watched Sam sleeping next to him on the passenger side seat. He looked peaceful, for now at least. But Dean was still alert. He knew that any second Sam could jerk up and start yelling in fear, pain, sadness... That's how it had been for the last too weeks.

Dean didn't remember the last time Sam had laughed. Hell, he didn't even remember the last time Sam had smiled. But it had been before these nightmares had started. Every time Dean asked Sam what they were about, he just shrugged and made some lame excuse to change the subject.

Dean could have just let it go and let Sam handle it on his own. Yeah, he could have. But then he had noticed Sam was loosing weight along with his appetite. And that's when he knew that He had to do something and fast. If only Sam would talk to him...

A soft moan escaped from Sam's lips. Dean put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Sam groaned but didn't wake up. His head dropped onto his shoulder and he continued to sleep peacefully. Dean took his hand away from his shoulder rubbed his face. He was tired himself and was trying to find a motel but right now they were kinda in the middle of nowhere. Just when Dean wondered could he put the music on without waking Sam up, Sam started to shivering as if he was cold. He moaned again and started to mumble something that Dean couldn't hear.

"Here we go again..." Dean thought as he pulled the car over. He killed the engine and turned his attention fully on his little brother. "Sam, wake up", he said gently, not getting the response that he wanted. Sam just turned his head murmuring 'no... no...' over and over again.

"Sammy. Come on now, wake up. It's just a dream. Wake up for me, will ya?" He patted Sam's leg and that's when shot up, his eyes wide with fear.

"DEAN!!" he yelled, clearly not knowing where he was and who he was with. The seatbelt stopped his from hitting his head on the wind shield and suddenly he felt arms taking a firm hold of his shoulders.

"Hey, hey... calm down, Sammy. I'm right here. Everything's okay, you're fine. It was just a dream", Dean said soothingly. Sam's breathing began to even and his eyes didn't look so afraid anymore.

"Dean?"

"Yeah. You seemed really scared. What did you see?" Dean asked, trying to open Sam up again.

"I... I don't remember anymore..." Sam lied, hugging his knees to his chest. Dean shook his but started the engine and the search for a motel continued. They drove in silence for about 30 minutes before they found a little town with a decent looking motel.

"You hungry? We could get something to eat before checking in", Dean suggested as he parked the car in front of the motel.

"No. But you can go get food while I check in", Sam said, getting out of the car.

"Nah, I'll just order something in for both of us", Dean replied. He really didn't want to leave Sam alone and if he ordered in he could actually get Sam to eat. A cute blond girl gave the boys the keys, eyeing Dean from head to toes. Dean would have normally stayed behind to flirt and maybe even to score a date but now he just smiled his most charming 'sorry, don't have the time' smile and followed Sam to their room. A clear sign that things weren't alright.

"So what do you want, Sam? Chinese or pizza?" Dean asked as he looked at phone book.

"I said I wasn't hungry", Sam pointed out.

"Yeah, but you know... You will be later so what's it gonna be? Chinese or Italian?" Sam sighed and shrugged.

"Whatever, you choose", he said and fell on the bed, face first. Dean took his phone and never taking his eyes off his brother ordered one salami and one tuna pizza. He didn't really care if Sam said he wasn't angry, he was going to make him eat, one way or another. Even if that meant he would have to spend the last of his money to the best diner of the town.

When the pizzas came a little bit over 45 minutes later, Sam was in fast asleep. Dean had no idea how he could sleep after sleeping for almost four hours in the car but didn't wake him up. He ate his pizza watching some old action from the TV. Once he was satisfied he took a shower and went to the bed himself. He didn't bother to take shoes or jeans off Sam knowing that they would both wake up in the middle of the night. With that thought in his head he fell asleep, hoping to get at least five hours sleep.

SNSN

_No, no, no... _

_Why did he have to see this all again, he had already lived through it all! Sam watched as his nine year old self screamed for Dean in his bed. But instead of Dean John had came in, trying his best to calm the little boy down. Sam's surroundings changed and suddenly he stood in a hospital room where 13 year old Dean lied in a bed that was so big it made Dean looked way younger than he was. That was the first time either of the boys had ever got hurt so badly that they needed hospital care. Pastor Jim was sitting on Dean's bed side and Sam remembered how he had insisted that he and John went to a motel to get some rest. _

_The white hospital room disappeared and Sam found himself in an little house. _

_"Get out of here, Sammy!" 16 year old Dean yelled. 12 year Sam ran down the stairs but Dean didn't follow him. And both Sam's noticed that._

_"Dean! DEAN!!!" younger Sam yelled. He was about to go back up stairs when Dean came down. He didn't run down the stairs though. No. He was thrown down. He landed on the floor and Sam could hear the horrible sound of bone cracking. Younger Sam ran to his brother's side, crying, begging him to wake up. _

_But the 23 years old woke up first._

SNSN

Sam jerked up in his bed, managing to keep himself from yelling. He quickly looked around only to find his brother in a deep sleep. He looked at the clock. 3.15.

"Oh God..." Sam thought as he ran a hand through his hair. This was getting ridiculous. He knew he was making Dean worried sick but he just couldn't bring himself to tell him what he saw every night. It was funny, really... Dean had lived through those moment, too. Why couldn't Sam just talk about his dreams?

No, actually, Dean had not lived through all of the things that Sam saw in his dreams. Some of the memories that he saw were only his. Cuz that's what they were. Memories. Something way worse than visions, even if there wasn't pain. Cuz Sam could stop the visions from happening but the things that had taken over his nightmares had already happened. The pain of them could not be killed...

Sam got out of the bed and walked as quietly as he could to the bathroom. He closed the door and sat on toilet seat. He rested his head against the wall and let the fear and pain take over. Sam had no idea why the dreams scared him so badly, he had survived from all of them.

_"But everyone did not"_, an evil little voice said in Sam's head. _"Your Mom died. And so did Jessica. And your Dad. All that is left is Dean. And sooner or later he is gonna die, too. You know it, don't ya? You can feel it. You know it's gonna happen. It had been so close for so many times. It's only a matter of time when his luck doesn't last anymore. And who is gonna wake you up from your nightmares then, huh, Sammy?"_

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" Sam yelled. He didn't see how the mirror broke into thousand peaces, he didn't hear Dean pounding the door as he started to cry into his knees.

SNSN

"Sam?! Sam, open the door! SAM!" Dean yelled through the door. When he didn't hear anything else but quiet sobbing he decided that this had to end. He kicked the door open and found Sam curled up on the toilet seat, rocking himself back and forth. The mirror was mashed but Sam didn't seem to be hurt by the pieces. Dean stopped over them and kneeled down in front of Sam.

"Sammy? Sam, it's okay", Dean said as calmly as he could.

"No... no it's not..." he heard Sam whispering.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is. You're fine, Sammy. Nothing can hurt you, okay? Nothing. I promise. What do you say we go back to bed and talk a little, okay?" Sam allowed Dean to walk him back to the room and settle him down on the bed. He wasn't, however, gonna talk.

"Sam this has got to stop! You're not eating and you barely sleep! What's going on?" Dean asked. Sam sniffed and looked down. He brought his knees back against his chest and remained quiet.

"Sammy, please..."

"I can't, Dean..." Sam whispered and lied down. He turned his back against Dean, though he knew neither one them was gonna sleep any longer that night. He heard Dean settling down and that's how they spent the rest of the night.

_TBC_

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**AN: **Okay, so... that was the first chapter. If someone thought it was boring, I swear the nightmare's are gonna become more intense. And Sam is gonna become waaay more depressed. Okay, I hope I didn't spoil too much...

Let me know what you're thinking. Even just three little words 'I like it' or 'I hate it' are welcome. And I'm very sorry for my possible mistakes in spelling...

Review and the next chapter will come sooner. (That is if more people than me want to know what happens next)

Devil of My Family


	2. Chapter 2

**Supernatural**

**No Matter What**

**AN: **So I hope you'll like this chapter as much as the first one. I reposted it cuz I fixed as much mistakes a could find. Should tell you, English isn't my own language. I hope you'll be able to understand. Anyway, to the story!

**Warnings: **Self harm and language

**Disclaimer:** Supernatural is not mine

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

_In my deepest fears _

_I'm losing you_

_Even if somebody tried to stop my heart_

_I'm still alive_

_I will never give up_

Negative, Still alive

**Chapter two**

Sam heard Dean saying something about getting breakfast. Sam made a sound that told Dean he had heard but didn't move before he heard the door shutting. With a soft groan he got up and went to the bathroom.

"What the hell happened here?" he thought when he saw the broken mirror. He didn't remember it being broken when he went there last night... "Did I do that?"

_"Oh yeah... Oh, Sammy, if you only knew how powerful you can be when you want to. But of course... That also means that you'll be dangerous, too. You'll put Dean at risk. Think you could handle that?"_

"Go away... Leave me alone!" Sam whispered desperately.

_"Sleep, Sammy... Sleep and see how it could have been..."_

SNSN

_The nine year old Sam ran through the hospital room and, without bothering to say 'I'm sorry' to a nurse he had accidentally collided with, rushed to his brother's room where his doctor and three nurses were doing CPR. Sam screamed Dean's name, telling him he couldn't die, couldn't leave him. But Dean didn't hear him, or if he did he just didn't listen or pay attention. Cuz after fifteen minutes the doctor told the nurses to stop._

_"Time of death, 15.05."_

_"What?! NO!" both the younger and older Sam yelled. But before Sam could see more the hospital room disappeared and he was back in the small house were Dean had just flew down the stairs. _

_"Dean! Wake up! Don't do this to me, Dean. Please!" the twelve year old Sam begged. Dean remained motionless, showing no sings of waking up. Sam put his fingers to his neck and his eyes widened. "No... No, Dean, no!! No, wake up, please, wake up!" he screamed. The older one stood behind him, unable to stop his own tears. _

_"This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real... He woke up... He was fine..."_

_The next hospital room Sam remembered better. The room where Dean had been after Sam had been informed his brother would have a month to live. Tops. But it wasn't like the last time. Dean was even paler and Sam, just a little bit younger, cried into his hands._

_"Hey, Geek Boy... You'll be fine..." Dean's rough voice echoed through present Sam's head. What the hell was he talking about?_

_"No, I won't..." younger Sam replied, looking up from his hands. He looked so tired, so broken that it scared Sam himself._

_"Yes, you will. This is not the end of the world", Dean said. Younger Sam smiled a little, though his smile wasn't happy. _

_"Oh yeah? Cuz it feels like one", he said, not looking Dean in the eye. _

_"Sammy... I can't die and leave you here like this. Promise me you'll be fine", Dean said. Younger Sam shook his head, letting the tears fall. If he didn't promise Dean would have to stay alive... Right?_

_"Sammy? Promise me..." Dean's voice was so weak, so full of pain. _

_"Dean, I..."_

_"Promise!" The older Sam's knees gave up and he fell onto the floor as he saw himself nodding. _

_"That's my boy... love you..." Dean's eyes shut and his hand that Sam was holding went limp._

_"Wait, what? No, Dean, no... Please, Dean! NO!!"_

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

_"Maybe that's enough for now"_, a voice said as Sam woke up. He felt the hot tears on his cheeks. It wasn't real... Dean was still alive, he was just fine. He had found a cure. But knowing how close losing Dean had been each of those times and so many times after and between them hurt Sam like a hot iron against his skin.

_"You could have stopped those things from happening, ya know. If only you had got control over your powers earlier. Why did you fight against them, Sammy? Why did you fight against your family's destiny? You could have stopped everything! And Jessica would still be alive, if you hadn't left your family. If she had never met you. How does that make you feel, Sammy, huh?" _Sam shook his head. He didn't want to believe it. But he had known it from the moment he had seen Jessica pinned to the ceiling. Maybe if they had never met... She would have got into Med School, met a nice guy, have the four children she dreamed about and a big house. She could have had those things if it wasn't for him...

"No... No, leave me the fuck alone...!! It's not true, it's not, I don't believe you!" Sam yelled. He didn't even know who he was yelling at. The little voice in his head didn't have a face. It was it was too afraid to actually face Sam, so it hide behind his nightmares and fears. Hell, maybe it even created them.

_"Oh, but Sammy, you're too delicious! God, you're such a mess. I can't leave you alone. Sorry. But you know what would ease the pain?"_

A piece of the mirror floated in front of Sam's eyes. It was there, just in Sam's reach.

_"Take it. I promise it will help."_

Sam reached out his shaky hand and took the sharp piece into his hand. He looked at it for a while and then, without even fully noticing it, he rolled his sleeve up.

_"Don't let your brother see. Cut it where he can't see..."_

Sam took his shirt off and put the piece between his shoulder and elbow. Would it help? Dean had once said that only weak ones do it, the ones that are too afraid to ask for help, those who don't have anyone who would listen and understand. Or someone who would just be near, not judging, just taking care. And he had also made sure that Sam knew that Dean would always be there, that he never had to do it. He would be there, he would listen...

_"Yes, but does he understand?"_ the voice said, reading Sam's mind. _"Has he ever gone through such pain? Has he?" _

Sam swallowed hard. No, he had not. There was no way Dean would know how Sam felt. Sam held the piece harder to his skin. And that was when he heard the motel room opening.

SNSN

From the moment Dean stepped into the small motel room he knew something was wrong. Sam was not in the bed and the bathroom door was slightly open. "Not again..." he thought as he dropped the packs he was carrying on the table and rushed to the bathroom. What he saw almost gave him a heart attack. Sam sat in the middle of the room, holding a piece of mirror to his skin. He had not made a cut but he hold the piece so hard it had made his hand bleed. Without saying anything Dean went to Sam and picked him up from the floor. The piece of glass dropped from Sam's hand and he didn't fight Dean as they made their out of the bathroom. Dean settled Sam on his bed and went back to the bathroom. He came back like ten seconds later holding a first aid kit. He sat down next to Sam, took a hold of his hand and started to clean it.

"What where you thinking, Sammy?" he asked gently. Sam winced as Dean wrapped his hand but didn't answer. Dean put the kit away and turned to look at Sam. Sam looked down, clearly ashamed. "Hey..." Dean said, putting a finger under Sam's chin and lifted it so Sam would meet his gaze. "Just tell me what happened, okay?"

A quiet sob came from Sam's mouth as he started talk. "He says... he makes me see nightmares... Real memories and today... how things could have ended up..." Sam said through his sobs and sniffs. Dean was making little circles on his back but it didn't calm Sam down.

"He... he makes me see you die... He says that Jess wouldn't have died if she had never met me... He says if I hadn't fought against my powers, if I hadn't fought against our family's destiny I could have stopped so many things from happening... he..." Sam shook his head and buried his face into his hands.

"Sam? Who is 'he'?" Dean asked.

"I... I don't know... He talks to me... Says all these things... I tell him to go away but he just stays. He doesn't go!" Sam yelled in pure frustration. Suddenly a lamp by Dean's bedside popped. Both of the boys turned to look at it and then each other.

"Must have been an old lamp..." Dean said, though his voice was full of uncertainness. Sam shook his head and fell on his bed, sobbing.

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **I hope I fixed more than one mistake. Keep on reading, lots of brotherly moments and angst coming up! Let me know what you think.

Lots of Love

Devil of My Family


	3. Chapter 3

**Supernatural**

**No Matter What**

**AN: **Okay, I'm sooo proud of myself right now. I had no idea I could finish my homework that fast and be able to up-date today. But I am! YEY! Okay, so here's chapter three and after you read it, please let me know what you think about it. REPOSTED!

**Warning: **Self harm and language

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Supernatural.

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

_I've been haunted by a vision_

_It's like the morning never comes_

_I feel the burning of confusion_

_Always searching, on a run_

-Full Blown Rose, Somebody Help Me-

**Chapter three**

Three days after Sam's little episode with the mirror the boys had decided to leave the motel. Sam still wasn't acting like himself, he still didn't eat as he was suppose to but he seemed to feel a little better after he had told Dean what his nightmares were about. He still had them, but the voice had stayed quiet and Sam was only seeing the old dreams again so they didn't freak him out so badly. But his was still secretly hoping that Dean wouldn't find them anything to hunt for awhile. He seriously thought he wouldn't be able to handle it.

What Sam didn't know was that Dean wasn't even looking for a hunt. He was purposely lying that he didn't find anything interesting in the paper when the truth was that he hadn't read it. He knew Sam was up for a break and honestly, so was he.

"So, Sammy. Where do you wanna go? Some town has a library that you wanna visit?" Dean asked casually as he drove down an empty road in between two forests.

"Well, as soon as we see some civilization we _could _visit a little bigger city for a change", Sam said.

"Like?"

"San Francisco", Sam suggested, shrugging.

"California? Sam, if you wanna go to California you might as well pick up a warm city like... Los Angeles. Oh, just think about the beaches..." Dean said, leading back on his seat dreamingly.

"San Francisco's not cold, Dean", Sam argued.

"It is colder than L.A.", Dean pointed out. Sam sighed.

"Well, whatever. It's the same to me", he said, leading his had against the cold window. He felt a headache coming and he just hoped that he wouldn't get a vision. He heard Dean's voice somewhere far away as his eyes started to slid shut.

"...closer to San Francisco anyway so I guess we could go there... Sammy?" Dean turned his gaze from the road to Sam for second and frowned. "Huh... You're more tired than I thought", he said quietly. He settled himself more comfortably on his seat and looked forward to the road. Man, this was gonna be a boring drive.

SNSN

_Sam couldn't believe what he was seeing. Wait, no... He did believe, he just didn't want to. He was watching as Jessica, few years older though, was playing with a boy that looked about five years old. There was also a girl but she was only a baby._

_"Mommy, look what I made for Daddy!" the boy said excitedly showing Jessica a drawing._

_"It's beautiful, Josh. I'm sure he'll love it", Jessica said, smiling at her eldest. Josh smiled and then they turned to look at the opening door. _

_"Daddy!" Josh yelled and ran to his father's open arms. And the father was definitely not Sam. He had light hair, he was shorter and he had blue eyes. He hugged his son smiling brightly._

_"Hey there, kiddo. Had a fun day with Mommy and Sophie?" _

_"Yes, look! I drew you a picture", Josh answered and gave his dad the picture._

_"It's great! You're really good." Josh giggled and then dropped down from his dad's arms. Jessica smiled as his husband came to her. "So how are my favorite girls?" he asked as he kissed Jessica on the lips. _

_"We're fine, thank you", Jessica answered as she placed Sophie in his arms. "By the way, Ryan, did you go see the house today?" she asked._

_"Yes, as in fact I did. It's perfect, it's everything we've been looking for", Ryan answered._

_"So, you think we should take it?" Jessica asked._

_"Do you want it?"_

_"Uh.. duh!" Jessica said._

_"Good. Cuz it's already ours. Happy birthday, sweetie." Jessica screamed and almost flew to give his husband a big kiss that looked so passionate Sam turned his head away. Only to find another happy family moment._

_"Come on, honey, make a wish", Cassie said to her daughter. _

_"But I want Daddy to be here first!" the girl whined._

_"I'm here, Rosie", came Dean's voice from another room. He came to the kitchen turning a camera in his hands. "I swear we have to buy a new one", he said when he came to the table. "Alright then", he said and put the camera in front if his face. "Blow them all and make a wish."_

_Rosie turned to look at large cake with six candles on it. "I want a baby SISTER", she said and blew all the candles with one blow. Just then Sam noticed that Cassie was pregnant. Not long but clearly pregnant. Dean laughed a little._

_"You know, you're not suppose to say it out loud", he told his daughter._

_"But how else will the fairy godmother hear me?" Rosie asked, confused. Dean and Cassie looked at each other._

_"You're absolutely right, sweetheart", Cassie said, picking her daughter up. "Daddy here doesn't seem to recognize a smarter person when he sees one." Dean shook his head laughing and went to pick up the phone that had started ringing. _

_"Hello? Hi, Mom." Sam's heart skipped a beat. His mom was alive? "Yeah, sure, she's right here. Rosie, it's for you", Dean said. Cassie put Rosie down and she ran to the phone yelling 'grandma!' when she finally got a hold of it._

_"See how things would have been without you? _Completely _without you?" the voice whispered into Sam's ear. "You kind of people are not suppose to exist. You only bring bad things upon the people that love you, that care about you. YOU are the reason the demon is after you. It's all your fault..."_

SNSN

"All my fault..."

Dean's head turned to Sam as soon as those words had escaped his mouth. "Sam? Hey, wake up", he said, not stopping the car.

"It's all my fault", Sam whispered again.

"No, it's not", Dean said, not sure what Sam was talking about. "It's not your fault. Come on, now. Wake up", he said, his voice taking an ordering edge. Sam shifted in his seat as if he wasn't comfortable and a single tear rolled down under his closed eye lids. "Sammy? Hey, it's okay, you can wake up now", Dean tried again, no use.

"Mom..." Sam suddenly said, his voice becoming more audible. Dean gulped. _Oh man..._ Suddenly Sam's eyes snapped open.

"MOM!"

"Whoa!" The wheel under Dean's hands took a life of it's own and turned sharply to the right. It was just someone mocking them that there happened to be a forest there. They crashed into tree quite hardly but as amazing as it sounds, the car didn't even turn off. Dean turned to look at Sam who was pale and his eyes were wide with fear, sadness and confusion. "You okay?" Dean managed to ask. Sam gave a little nod but it turned into a shake of no. "Why, what is it?" Dean asked. "Are you hurt?"

"No..." Sam whispered and wiped a tear that had escaped from the corner of eye. "Are you?" he asked.

"No", Dean answered simply. "You were dreaming about mom?" he asked, trying to keep his voice normal.

"Not actually... She just... she was alive..." Sam said. He saw Dean raising his eyebrows. "You were an adult", Sam explained.

"Oh..." Dean said, not knowing what else to say at the moment. They were quiet for awhile. "Uh... I think we should get moving", Dean finally said and touched the wheel carefully, as if he was afraid it would scream and do something stupid. "There you go..." he mumbled as drove the car back to the road. "So, what was the dream about, if not about Mom?"

Sam stared out of the window, not sure did he want to answer. He just shrugged. _"Typical..." _Dean thought but did not push. "I checked the map while you were sleeping. It's about eight hour drive to San Francisco. You wanna stop for dinner or something?" he asked.

"Not hungry..." Sam said.

"Your hand okay?"

"It's fine, Dean." Sam's voice was way harder than he had intended but he didn't bother to say 'sorry'. He just sighed and kept looking out of the window.

Dean shook his head, frustrated. They had just taken two steps to normal Sam. And now that had taken four back...

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **Okay, I hope you like it. Wonder if they're gonna make it San Francisco? Find out in the next chapter! grin

Let me know what you think of this chapter or the whole story so far. I looove reviews, they make my homework less harder! (They really do, I'm telling ya!)

Lots of Love!

Devil of My Family


	4. Chapter 4

**SUPERNATURAL**

**No Matter What**

**AN: **I try to have less mistakes this time. Bare with me, okay? Anywaaay...I'm sorry I didn't up-date sooner. I was on a camp with 7 to12 old girls (joy) and right now I have an exam-week going. Or a test-week, whatever. (Sorry, I just have this need to explain myself.) But now I'm here and I try to make this chapter as long as I can.

**Warning: **Self harm and language

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Supernatural

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

_I'll be there for you_

_When the rain starts to fall_

_I'll be there for you_

_Like I've been there before_

_I'll be there for you_

_Cuz you're there for me, too_

Rembrandts, I'll Be There For You

**Chapter four**

200 hundred miles and 4 hours after the crash Dean was trying to make Sam talk. He had figured an hour ago that there was no way he was gonna make Sam smile so now he was trying to make him say more than one word at a time. But he was slowly giving up on that, too. As a last resort he decided to try how the 'good old Dean' talk would work on Sam.

"So, you think after San Francisco we could go to L.A?" he asked as of he had no secret motive.

"Sure", was the short reply.

"Good. You know, we could have an actual road-trip with no hunting for a change, what do ya say?" At this, Sam actually turned his gaze from the road to his brother and he looked surprised. "Aw, come on, Sammy! Think about the chicks that run down the California beaches! Man, I wish Baywatch was real..."

Sam made a sound that could have been an agreement or a groan. Dean allowed himself to feel a little disappointed and worried cuz his goal had been to make Sam either smile or even make a sarcastic comment. Or hell, why not even both? Well, as that wasn't happening, maybe he could make some salty and un-healthy food go down his little brother's throat.

"Heeey, McDonald's!" Dean yelled as he spotted the large yellow M. "Hungry?"

"Maybe", Sam said.

"Good enough", Dean replied and pulled the car to the McDonald's parking lot. But when he opened the door, Sam made no effort to get out of car. "Sammy?"

"Tired..." Sam explained. Dean sighed as he nodded.

"I'll go pick something to go. You'll be okay?"

"Just.. don't stay long..." Dean frowned. Now he _knew _that Sam was FAR from okay. Dean had heard Sam pleading him to stay or to hurry back only when they were kids and he was afraid of the monster under his bed... No, Sam wasn't okay. And it was gonna take a lot of out of Dean 'til he would be.

"I won't. I just take what's ready", Dean promised and shut the door. Sam hugged his knees against his chest and tried to shut the voice that was now whispering to him when he was awake.

_"Your kind should not exist... your kind should not exist... your kind should not exist..."_

Sam shut his eyes shut, refusing to give in to tears. He would not give the voice that satisfaction anymore.

_"Your kind should not exist... your kind should not exist..."_

"Shut up!" Sam said, quietly but as firmly as he could. He could swear he heard a little, mocking, laugh and then it continued again:

_"Your kind should not exist... Your kind should not exist..."_

"So, I got us both double-cheese burgers, cokes and f... Sammy?" came Dean's voice, overpowering the one in Sam's head. Sam looked up and Dean was relieved when his face wasn't covered with tears. "You okay?" he asked as he settled down on his seat.

"Yeah, just... tired", Sam said, half lying. He _was _tired... God, he was tired. But that was not all and both of the Winchesters knew it. Dean decided not to push the subject for now. Sam would talk when he was ready. Right?

"You really should eat before it gets cold", Dean said as he turned on th engine. Sam took a burger from the paper pack Dean had put on his lab and unwrapped a paper that covered it. After a moment of hesitation he took a bite. Then another. And another. "Victory", Dean said so quietly that Sam didn't hear.

SNSN

Dean was bored out of his mind. The journey had been quiet for the last hour, ever since they had left the McDonald's. They were going to California for Heaven's sake! Dean was suppose to be dreaming about the girls and Sam was suppose to bring him down from the clouds. It was not suppose to be quiet. Hell, it was suppose to be anything but quiet. Even if the music was playing Dean didn't like the silence between him and Sam. It was just not natural. Sure they had their quiet moments from time to time but... never like this.

"You wanna stop somewhere before we get to San Francisco?" Dean asked, shattering the silence into thousand pieces. "You know, so you could get some sleep", he added. Sam nodded ever so slightly. His eyelids were trying to close but he kept them stubbornly open.

"Okay then, cheap motel it is", Dean said lightly, pushing the gas down a bit harder. He didn't know why, maybe it was the big brother in him telling him that his baby brother needed sleep or the proud car owner who didn't want his brother wake up screaming and making the car crash. Whatever, it wanted to find a motel as fast as possible.

Half an hour later they had checked in to a VERY cheap motel. Sam, who was not bothered by the odd smell or the coloring of the room went straight to bed, curling under the covers. He fell asleep in matter of minutes. Dean, however, was bothered by the odd smell and the coloring of the room. He put the lights out so he wouldn't have to look at the walls that were painted with something between green and yellow. That didn't block the smell though.

"Geez, did the last visitors have a cat or something...?" Dean wondered. He lied on his bed, going through channels, trying to find something to get his mind of the smell. Finally he found some old TV-serial and settled to watch it. "I swear, all the good shows don't start 'til 10 pm..." he muttered under his breath, glancing the clock. It was only 7.45 pm which meant there was not gonna be killing, blood or boobs in the TV for the next two hours. "I miss Baywatch so much..."

SNSN

_"No, not again..." Sam begged. He hated his pleading voice but he couldn't help it. _

_"But Sammy, I have a special show for you tonight. You see, you're the reason your mom, dad and girlfriend are dead, you get that right?" the voice said. Sam didn't even realize that he nodded. "Good. So, how are you gonna feel when Dean's gonna die, too? And yes, Sammy. I said when"._

_Sam shook his head. "No, he's too strong, he won't die... He can't die..."_

_"Oh but he will Sammy. And you will be responsible for that, too. But not in a same way. You wanna see? You know how many times your brother has cheated dead. Let's go to the die he's actually gonna die."_

_Before he knew it, Sam was in a new motel room. He looked around and saw things flying in the air. When he looked around more, he saw himself in the middle of the room, watching as a knife flew in front of his eyes. Suddenly, the door opened and Dean got in. He stopped dead when he saw what was going on._

_"Sam, what...?"_

_"Dean, this is what I've been holding back! Look! I can do things like this and I've been _holding them back!_ How stupid am I?" Sam said, excitedly. Dean gave out a nervous chuckle._

_"I uh... I thought you didn't want to get control of your powers, Sammy", he said._

_"That was then", Sam said, shrugging. _

_"Okay, so... what're you gonna do with this new power of yours?" Dean asked, even more nervously. Sam noticed it._

_"Scared, Dean? Scared I might do something... bad. Like... demon-bad?" he asked, his voice low, almost sad. But Dean heard through it._

_"Would you, Sam? If someone got into your way? Would you use your powers to get rid of him?" _

_"Like who?"_

_"Like me." Sam thought for a about two seconds. Then he sent the knife he was watching before to Dean, forcing him to back up to the wall. The knife went right in front of his heart._

_"You wouldn't dare", Sam said dangerously._

_"You ain't that scary, Sammy", Dean said. _

_"Oh yeah?" _

_Sam knew what was gonna happen a second before it did. He covered his eyes and screamed as he heard the knife going through Dean's chest. _

_"You still think so, big brother?" he heard the other Sam saying._

_"No... I would never do it, never! I would never... He knows I wouldn't..." _

_"Can you promise that, Sammy? What if the powers get the best of you? Huh? It's just like I said, your kind should not exist. Go. Leave your brother so he'll be safe. Go Sam... Go..."_

_The last thing Sam saw before waking up was Dean's dead body against the wall and then everything went white._

SNSN

Sam woke up with a gasp. He was cold and he was covered in sweat.

"Sammy?" Sam turned his head sharply to look at Dean who was lying on the other bed. He looked worried. "Hey, you okay?" he asked.

"I'm... I'm... I have to go..." Sam said, getting of the bed.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean asked, getting of the bed, too. "Go where?"

"Somewhere. I can't stay, I can't... I can't hurt you", Sam said, getting some of his stuff together.

"Hurt me? Sam, what is going on?" Dean grabbed Sam's arm and forced him to face him. "Did you have another nightmare? What was it about?" Sam shook his head.

"I can't... tell you Dean. I want to, I do... But have to go..."

"Did you hurt me in that dream? Sam, it was just a dream, it's not gonna happen!"

"You don't know that!" Sam yelled. He put his hand through his hair and took in a shaky breath. "You have to let me go. Please, Dean! It's the only way, I can't let you die. I have to go." It was Dean's turn to shake his head.

"No way, you're not going anywhere. Not like this. We're gonna figure this out, Sam, okay? Nothing's gonna happen to me." Sam looked at him and almost, _almost, _believed him. Then he sighed.

"I'm sorry, Dean..." he whispered. The, with a quick move, he hit Dean on the back, knocking him out. After checking him out and putting two painkillers and a glass of water next to him he got out of the room. He stopped for a second before pushing the door shut. "I'm so sorry... But if it's gonna safe you, it's worth it..." And with that, Sam left.

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **I'm evil, right? First I keep you waiting and then I make Sam leave... Now Dean has to find him. Oh dear... Anyway, I hope you liked it and I wish to see a lot of new reviews! They would be nice to read along with a chemistry and maths book that I'm doomed to go through for this whole week. Someone up there help me!

You've been so great this far, than you!

Lots of Love

Devil of My Family


	5. Chapter 5

**SUPERNATURAL**

**No Matter What**

**AN: **Okay, you guys really know how to make my day. Thank you! And yes, I am so sorry it took me so long to update the last chapter but... I really can't help it. :( But I hope you like this chapter. And keep reviewing, okay? Please...

**Warning: **Self harm and language

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Supernatural

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

_"I think Dean's right, what's dead should stay dead."_

_"Oh yeah?" _

_"Yeah. But if YOU die, I'm gonna do anything within my power to bring you back."_

-My friend to me as we were watching **Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things**.-

**Chapter five**

_"Hey, Sam's talking! So why the hell am I sleeping?"_ was Dean's first thought when he slowly woke up. _"What was Sammy talking about, anyway? Something about leaving... Leaving?!" _Dean opened his eyes and pushed himself up from the floor. He groaned as his back protested. "Sam?" he said, not getting anything in reply. "Sammy?" His voice was getting panicked. Sam hadn't left, he couldn't have... "Sammy?!" Now Dean was yelling. But the only thing he got as an answer was silence. "I swear to God, I'm gonna kill you!" Dean mumbled to himself as he picked up his phone. After pressing the green phone to call Sam he pressed the phone to his ear, lot harder than usually. "Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up..."

_"This is Sam, I can't get to the..."_

"Damn it!" Dean yelled in frustration. He waited 'til he heard the little peep that told him he could start yelling his brother and then let Sam hear exactly what he was thinking at the moment: "Sam! You better call me back and tell me where you are so I can come there to kick your ass! What the hell were you thinking, anyway? Huh? Gosh, Sammy..." Dean took in a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. "Seriously, Sam. You're not okay, we both know that. We can figure this out. Just... call me back okay?" Dean clicked the phone shut, knowing fully that Sam was not gonna call him. He glanced at the clock. 00.09. He had been out of it for at least four hours. "Sammy, you're such an idiot", Dean murmured as he got out of the room. He went to the reception and woke up the fat man who was sleeping in a arm chair.

"Wh...? If there's something wrong with the room, I can fix it in the morning", the man said and Dean could smell the alcohol in his breath from four feet away.

"I won't be here in the morning. I was just wondering did you see which way my brother went?" The man thought for a second.

"The one you came with? No. But if he's walking and smart he would go the bus station. Three miles to the south", he said.

"Three miles? Okay, thanks", Dean said and left. He cursed under his breath. Sam could be anywhere right now. And by anywhere, Dean meant _anywhere. _"_Why does USA have to be so fucking BIG?" _Dean thought as he went to the car. "And be grateful you didn't take my car. Then I really would have killed you!"

SNSN

Sam was sitting in the far corner of an old bus. There was only five others in the bus, including the bus driver. That actually worked for Sam, who really didn't want people to see him in the shape he was in. He was furiously fighting back tears that wanted to fall down. He had done what he had to, Dean was safe now, the was nothing to cry about that. But GOD he missed him already. He knew Dean would be SO angry at him for leaving like that.

Sam jumped as his phone rang. Without bothering to check who was calling (since he knew already) he let the phone ring. He received few very annoyed looks from the other passengers but no one asked his to shut the phone down. The phone rang for about a minute and then Sam heard the peep that told him he had got a voice message. With a deep breath, Sam pressed the phone to his ear and listened as his brother's angry voice told him that he was gonna kick his ass.

_"...Seriously, Sam_._ You're not okay, we both know that. We can figure this out. Just... call me back okay?" _

Sam sighed. He didn't know should he regret his decision to leave or not. Eventually he decided that, despite of everything, it was for the best. That thought made him feel little, just a little, better.

SNSN

"Officer Walker?" Dean's head snapped up at the mention of his fake name. A woman, maybe in her forties, was smiling at him. "The boy that matches you description took a bus from here to San Francisco..."

_"Geez, Sam. Great use of imagination..."_

"...and it left about two and a half hours ago. That means that it's almost there already", the woman continued.

"Okay, thank you", Dean said as he pretended to make notes. The woman smiled even wider. Dean had told her he was looking for a missing person (which was not completely a lie) and she looked like she thought she had solved the case. That or she was flirting. Poorly. "Well, I better get going. It's a big city, I don't want him to get lost any more than he is. You've been a great help, thank you", Dean said and left. He saw the woman waving to him from the corner of his eye as he drove the car to the road. The speed limits were the last thing is his mind when he pushed the pedal down.

"When I found you I'm gonna give you a serious lecture about leaving without an explanation. And then I'm gonna give you a lecture about leaving at all. You're so stupid..." Dean mumbled as he drove down the road. After few more minutes the worry for his brother took over the frustration and anger. He didn't like the idea that Sam was out there on his own even when he was okay, but now that he wasn't okay _and_ out there on his own, now that was an idea that was killing him. Sam could collapse anywhere and anytime and Dean wasn't there to catch him... He wasn't there to wake Sam up and tell him everything was okay, he wasn't there to make Sam eat, he wasn't there to look after him.

The big brother in Dean was losing his mind. He needed to find Sam as fast as he could. He feared that if he didn't, Sam would do more harm to himself than just a bleeding hand. _"Just let him be okay... I'll do anything, just please, let him be okay..."_

SNSN

After arriving to San Francisco, Sam had found a little hotel and checked in. He was so tired he could barely stand but he managed to take a shower before falling onto bed. He closed his eyes and the silent humming of the room lulled him into sleep.

SNSN

_As soon as Sam saw where he was, he wished he has stayed awake. He was sitting in the backseat of the Impala, watching Dean drive way faster than was allowed. "Damn it, Sammy, pick up!" Dean yelled. Sam winced at the mention of his name. The way Dean said it was so... desperate. _

"He's looking for me!" _Sam realized. No... No, why couldn't Dean realize that it was for the best! He had to left Sam be, he couldn't find him, he couldn't!_

_"Sam!" Dean yelled to the phone. "Pick up or call me back! I need to know where you a... Fuck!" The phone dropped from Dean's hand to the floor. As he was trying to pick it up he didn't notice the car that was driving on the wrong side of the road._

_"DEAN!" Sam yelled, knowing fully that Dean wouldn't hear him. By the time that Dean looked back to the road, it was too late. Sam screamed and put his hands automatically around himself for protection. He heard the sound of glass braking and the muffled yelp from Dean as the cars collided. And after few seconds it was completely quiet. It took a while until Sam had gathered the courage to see the damage. He gulped as he turned his eyes to Dean. "No..."_

_Dean's head was bleeding from a big wound in his head. There was several little wounds, too. But the thing that scared Sam so much was the fact that Dean's eyes were wide open and he was not moving at all. "No, no, no... not again, please..." Sam begged silently. "You told me he was gonna be okay!" he yelled._

_"Yes, yes I did. But you know what Sammy? I lied. He's gonna die whatever you do. Unless..."_

_"Unless what? I'll do anything!" Sam said._

_"Unless he has nothing to look for. Unless he has nothing that can harm him. You need to take the reason for his fighting away. And you know what it is, don't ya, Sammy?"_

_"Yes... yes I do..._

SNSN

Sam woke up, his mind made. He knew what the reason was. It was he himself. He knew now that the voice was right, he should not exist. He brought nothing but bad things in his brother's life, to the only one's life that mattered to him, to the only one's life who cared about _him. _Dean deserved better... So much better...

"Perfect..." Sam though as he found a bottle of painkillers from the one of his bags. He opened it and emptied it in his hand. He looked at pills for few seconds before swallowing them all. He washed them down with water and sat down on his bed.

_"Good boy. I promise, Dean's gonna have a great life. You're doing a favor to him..."_

Then, out of no where, Sam heard another voice. So much warmer, familiar and kind. _"Just let him be okay... I'll do anything, just please, let him be okay..."_

"Dean?" Sam whispered. No, it couldn't have been... right?

_"Sammy... please don't do anything stupid... I can't lose you, too. Please, baby brother... Just be okay..."_

Sam couldn't take it anymore. He reached for the phone that was on the bed next to him and dialed Dean's number.

_"NO!" _the voice yelled. _"What're you doing, you're gonna ruin his life! Don't call him, you idiot, his life will be so much better..." _

"YOU DON'T KNOW HIM!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!" Sam yelled as he pressed the phone on his ear. Dean picked on the second ring.

_"Sammy? Oh thank God... Where are you, are you okay?" _Dean asked. Sam looked at the empty bottle of painkillers on the floor and took a shaky breath. _"Sam? Come on, talk to me! Where are you?"_

"Dean... I... I think I did something stupid..."

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **I kinda hate myself right now... And I don't blame you if you hate me, too... But let me know what you think! You all have been great so far, I'm so happy that you like and you have kept reading it! Until the next chapter!

Lots of Love

Devil of My Family


	6. Chapter 6

**Supernatural**

**No Matter What**

**AN: **I'm so sorry about the long update but I'm so NOT sorry about the cliffhanger. Actually, to be honest, I am proud of it. :D Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. I love your reviews, keep them coming.

**Warnings: **Self harm and language

I've never been in San Francisco, hell, not even USA so I don't know if there's a hotel called Golden SF near the airport. (Makes sense when you read a little further) I hope that no one takes this as a personal insult...

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

_So don't run, don't hide_

_It will be alright_

_You'll see, trust me_

_I'll be there_

_Watching over you_

Look Through My Eyes, Phil Collins

**Chapter six**

_"Dean... I... I think I did something stupid..."_

Dean's hear skipped a beat. No... Oh God, no... "What did you do, Sammy?" he asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

_"I... I found a bottle of painkillers... I think... I took too many, Dean..." _Sam's quiet and broken voice echoed in Dean's head. He shook his head in disbelief. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening.

"Where are you, Sam?"

_"San Francisco. A little hotel, Golden... something... It's near the airport... Room 23..."_

"Okay, Sammy, I want you to go to the bathroom and throw the pills up, k? Can you do that? I'll be there in an hour. Sam?" Dean said when he didn't get a reply. "SAM!"

_"I'm in the... bathroom..." _Dean let go of the breath he hadn't known he was keeping.

"That's my boy..." he said quietly. His breathing eased even more when he heard Sam gagging. It's a wonder how something so disgusting could make Dean feel so relieved.

SNSN

_"Golden something... Golden something... Gotcha!" _Dean parked the car in front of a little hotel called Golden SF. He ran in and without bothering to stop at the reception he ran to the second floor. _"23... 23... 23... C'mon! Damn it... This is why I like cheap motels so much... No stairs..."_ Dean thought as he ran to the third floor. When he finally found the room he was looking floor he started to knock on the door so hard that it was a miracle no one came to tell him to stop.

"Sam!! Sam, open the door I'll kick it down!! Sammy!! Sa..." Just then the door opened up and pale, sweaty and exhausted Sam appeared in the door way. "God... Sammy..." Dean managed to get out. He stepped into the room and closed the door as Sam collapsed onto the queen-size bed of the room. He put his hands on his face and mumbled 'I'm sorry' over and over again.

"Sam, hey... Look at me", Dean said firmly, sitting in the bed next to Sam. Sam took his hands off his face and turned his gaze to Dean. "Did you get them all out?" Dean asked. Chick-flick moment would have to wait. First things first.

"I... I don't know..." Sam said.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Dean asked, is voice rising a bit.

"I didn't... I didn't count", Sam answered. Dean shook his head and then grabbed Sam's arm. "Dean, wh...?"

"We're going to the hospital", Dean explained.

"No! Dean, I..."

"Just to make sure, Sam. Now come on, or would you rather that I drag your ass all the way to the car?"

SNSN

"So you're sure that he's fine?" Dean asked for liked hundredth time. They were standing outside of Sam's room. Sam's doctor smiled and nodded.

"Yes. You did the right thing by bringing him in. But I think it would be for the best if he saw a psychiatrist. You know, just to make sure anything like this will never happen again."

"Oh, trust me. I will make sure That anything like this will NEVER happen again", Dean said. He looked through the window to see his brother fully clothed on the bed, waiting anxiously to get out. "I'll talk to him, okay? I'll make sure he talks to someone if not me. Thank you, doc." And with that, Dean went to Sam's room. "Hey, you ready to go?"

"Yes", Sam said right away. They were out of the room in a record time. Sam didn't say a word on the way back to the hotel. Dean wondered if he regretted that he had called him. Dean sighed. This was getting out of control. Next time Sam actually might not call... Next time Dean could be too late... Next time Sam could...

_"No. There will be no next time."_ Dead decided. As soon as they were back in the room, Dean forced Sam to sit on the bed and face him. "You wanna tell me exactly what you were thinking when you ate those pills, huh? Wanna tell me everything?" he said. His voice wasn't soft, it wasn't full of love, it wasn't actually even questioning. It was a voice that told Sam he had been given an order. He would not be getting out of it.

"He shows me... he shows me how things could be without me..." Sam began. "He shows me how Jess would have a great husband and a wonderful life if she had never met me. He shows me how you could have a life... Pregnant wife, a beautiful daughter and Mom would be alive... She calls your daughter on her birthday... If it wasn't for me you could have all those things..."

"Sammy..."

"And then he shows me how you die because of me!" Sam yelled and suddenly Dean heard a sound of glass braking. A glass that had been on the table beside the bed had broken into two pieces. "He shows me how I kill you, he shows me how you... how you're looking for me and then there's a car crash and I see you bleeding and it's all my fault and he says that you'd be better of without me and that I shouldn't exist... Oh God, I shouldn't have called you... What was I thinking? Oh my God I have to..."

"Breath!" Dean cut in when Sam's breathing became un-even and shallow. "What you have to do right now is breath. Come on, nice and easy." Dean's tone had changed completely. The ordering edge was gone and the big brother kicked in. When Sam's breathing was normal again he took a firm hold of shoulders and made him look at him straight in the eye. "Sam, you can't let him win. This, you hurting yourself, is what _he _wants. He has some kind of problem with you. We're gonna figure this out, okay? You hear me? _We._"

Sam looked at Dean. _"For heaven's sake, put youself together!! You're stronger than this, you can beat this!!"_

_"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy... You think you can beat me? Huh? Oh, you stupid boy. Your brother can't safe you from me. You're all alone in this, you're all mine. Want me to tell Dean that it's worthless, that he should just leave you here?"_

"No, no, no..." Sam took his head into his hands as if he had a headache.

"Sam? Sammy, what is it, wh...?" As soon as Dean touched Sam's shoulder he felt like he had jumped into cold water. He heard someone laughing and Sam gasping for air. But all he could see was white. "What the...?"

_"You see, Dean? This is something you can't understand. Sammy is mine, all mine. I can make him brake even if you would stand right next to him all the time. It just takes longer. Do you want Sammy to be in pain? Do you want Sammy to have nightmares 'til the bitter end?"_

"Hey! Don't you dare call him 'Sammy'. I'm the only one who gets to call him that! You hear me!!! You leave him the hell alone! He's not yours and he will not brake!"

_"But Dean, he knows. He knows how much better everyone's life would be without him. Yours, Jessica's, your parents'..."_

"You don't know what I want. Leave him alone!!!" Dean yelled.

_"I can't. Sorry. And you can't make me. Sammy's the only one that can but well, he doesn't look like he's ready to fight, now does he?" _After that Dean felt himself being pulled back to reality. Sam was still in the same position, holding his head.

"Sam? Sam, you have to fight it, you're the only one that can make him go away. Don't believe what he says, he's lying! Okay, he's l-y-i-n-g!"

"But... but he showed me, he showed me everything..."

"Sam, it was a dream! Okay? You know, when I met Jessica and said that she was way out of your lead, it just shone from her eyes that she loved you. She loved you so much, she wouldn't have been happier with anyone else! And as for me, if I EVER get married, yet alone have children I want you to be the one that calls them on their birthdays. I love Mom, of course I do, but you're my little brother. _My _Sammy. Not his. Never his."

Sam lifted his gaze to meet Dean's. God, he wanted to believe everything that he had just said. But how could it be true? Everything Jess ever dreamed of was taken away from her because of Sam and Dean had never gotten a chance to choose which kind of life he wanted.

_"Yes, Sammy... That's it. Just make him leave..."_

"Sam, are you listening to me?" For some reason Dean's voice was so much easier to hear... "He's messing with your head. Don't listen to him. You SHOULD exist."

"I should?"

"Yes." There was no doubt, there was no explanation, just a simple 'yes'.

_"No, Sammy. You sh..."_

"Don't call me 'Sammy'..."

"Good. Keep going."

"You're lying. Leave me alone!!! You don't know anything about me! You don't know anything about Jess, you don't know anything about Dean. Just leave me alone!"

_"Sammy..."_

"You don't get to call me that! I'm not yours, I don't have to brake down! I should exist..."

_"No." _

"Yes, I should."

_"No..." _

"Yes."

_"Nooo!!" _Sam blocked his mind and even his ears from the screaming and suddenly... everything was quiet.

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **So the next chapter will be last. I have to finish this story cuz I have to concentrate fully in school for awhile. But I hope you let me know what you think and I'll come back with the last chapter as soon as I can.

YOU HAVE ALL BEEN GREAT!!

Thank you!

Devil of My Family


	7. Chapter 7

**SUPERNATURAL**

**No Matter What**

**AN: **Okay, this is the last chapter if this story. I hope you guys have liked it and I'll write another story as soon as I can. I have the idea of it in my head and the plot is pretty much made but writing it might take awhile. Aaaanyway, review of this chapter and tell what you thought of the whole story. I wanna get better, so give me tips. Okay, so to the last chapter.

**Warnings: **Well, okay, there won't be any self harm or language in this chapter... Some spoilers of random episodes, though...

**Disclaimer: **Nope. Not mine

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

_Now that world isn't ending_

_It's love that I'm sending to you_

_It isn't the love of a hero_

_And that's why I fear it won't do_

Hero, Chad Kroeger feat. Josey Scott

**Chapter seven **

"Sam?" Sam heard it but his brains didn't quite register it. A gentle voice, something so warm that Sam had hard time believing it was real.

"It's gone..." he finally said, when he had realized just who that warm voice belonged to.

"The voice?"

"Yeah..." Sam smiled. It was an actual, happy smile that didn't hold any kind of sadness or bad feelings behind it. It felt so good, just being able to smile without fearing that someone would come and take that good feeling away from you. "Dean?"

"What?" Dean asked.

"I'm kinda hungry..."

SNSN

"So, you wanna tell me what you exactly were thinking when you left?" Dean asked some time later. He was sitting on the bed while Sam was packing his stuff. Sam looked up to his brother, mildly surprised.

"I thought it was clear... I thought I was saving you", he said.

"Right. And you never even stopped to think that I might be able to help you?"

"I called you, didn't I?"

"Yeah, _after _you swallowed the pills", Dean pointed out. Sam just shook his head and threw a shirt to his bag. Dean sighed. "Sammy..."

"I panicked, alright? I was weak, I wasn't thinking straight, that voice made me feel and see horrible things and I panicked! I saw myself killing you, Dean! Of course I left! You have done nothing but saving my ass my whole life, and I killed you! Killed!! You were dead, gone and I didn't even care! So I left! Okay? Happy now?"

Dean couldn't do nothing but stare for a moment. "For God's sake, Sammy! You talk about it as if it had actually happened. Look at me, do I look dead to you? Huh? Sam, you're not a monster! It's _you _that is always telling _me _what or who we can't kill even if it's a freaking none-killing vampire. You have the bigger sense of right and wrong of us two. And you thought you could kill me? Gosh..."

"I've tried..." Sam said quietly.

"You weren't yourself, Sam. You know that and so do I", Dean said, his voice telling that this conversation was over. That was funny, actually, cuz he was the one that started it. But Sam didn't seem to be ready to stop.

"So you're telling me that you're never afraid that I could turn like Max or Andy's brother?"

"Nope. Never. Because you have me. And I know this sounds horrible but I think it's not the powers that make them that way. Max would have probably ended up killing his father and uncle even without his powers. They were just shortcut."

"And A...?"

"Same thing", Dean said, before Sam could even finish his sentence. "They both had their reasons, right or wrong. And I gotta tell ya, if you would wanna kill me cuz you had a crappy childhood or something I would take that as a personal insult."

Sam laughed a little. "You take a wrong word about the Impala as a personal insult", he said.

"Well, that's just man defending what is his", Dean said. Then his face grew serious. "Sam, if you get control of your powers, we should take them as a... blessing. At least we won't drive off the road every time you sneeze."

"Yeah. Thanks", Sam said and threw his bag over his shoulder. "Shall we go?"

"Sure."

When Dean was about to close the door behind him his eyes fell on the broken glass that was still on the night table. "You coming?" he heard Sam asking behind him and shook his head. He closed the door and went after his brother. He didn't care how hard getting control of Sam's powers would. He didn't care how long it would take or how many demons would come after his brother. He would be there, to catch him and help him. He would always be there for Sam.

No matter what.

THE END

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **Okay, so the telekinesis were only a side thing. And yes, I know the ending was short I just didn't have anything else left in my mind. You all have been great, I'm so happy so many people liked my story. I hope to see you all when I (someday) post my next one. Alright, so I have to go do my homework. And because I don't think I'll be able to write before Christmas, I wish EVERYONE merry Christmas and I hope you have all been good through this year so Santa will remember you. :D If you think that I ended the story in a way that left you hanging and that I don't deserve any gifts, tell me. : ) And tell me what you think of the whole story, too!

Anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!

Lots of Love

Devil of My Family


End file.
